Induced Introspection

Sometimes you have to fall to realize how low you've actually been.

Well, I fell...

This story, as they often do, involves a boy... or actually... two.

Cut to the chase... I recently got myself into one of the most cliché situations you can imagine. I'll spare you the details, save to say it was a messy affair that resulted in the complete kaibosh of the social circle I've been building over recent weeks. When I came back from the break last week it was to the realization that I'd lost said social ties and completely messed things up with 2 great guys. This on top of moving into a new apartment, wrecking my car (not cool), and starting a new phase (molecules, cells, and cancer) of school was too much.

...I fell...

School is hard. It's demanding, it's high stress, and it doesn't stop. Balancing a life outside of medical school when it more or less occupies all of your time is difficult. Trying to establish one, to find people you relate to in a new city surrounded by strangers is even harder. I think that's why recent events hit me so hard. I had finally found people that were fun and that I could relate to with that elusive mix of party and professional that I can't ever seem to find and they were becoming fast friends. To be honest I think I was dissatisfied before meeting these guys. Dissatisfied because I didn't have people in my life that I felt I could fully connect with. Friends yes, but not necessarily ones with my same attitude toward life and school or that shared my same ideas of fun. Unfortunately after a night of bad decisions followed by another night of indecision, it ended... abruptly, climatically, and anything but clean.

Needless to say, this social experiment gone awry brought a few things to my attention...

1) Boys and binge drinking should not mix...
*or rather binge drinking should always be avoided.*

2) Don't sh*t where you eat.
*For lack of a better analogy... hooking up with friends is a quick way to end a friendship.*

and
3) Think first
*Basically don't hook up with someone and then see them again without thinking about what that hook-up might have meant.*

...Needless to say, this girl learned her lesson. But not to worry, there's a silver lining...

I've already met some fun new people to take on the city with and though we may not be hanging out anytime soon, I'm back on speaking terms with the inducers of my introspection.

So yes, I fell...
It might have taken me a couple of weeks, but I landed on my feet.

And now... in honor of silver linings... a little song by fave artist Rilo Kiley coincidentally entitled...
'Silver Lining.'