Coping Mechanisms x 2

*Twist free undies, just how I like 'em... The spiderman print is just an added bonus.*

Ok, ok, ok so before you get your panties in a twist and start raising the red flags, let's post a minor retraction. Yesterday I took step one to overcoming a current issue by admitting to myself and my few and faithful readers that I've got a problem, that being that I'm unhappy. But... in reflection I think a little rephrasing is in order. You see, it's not that I am unhappy per se (that would insinuate that I am sad), it's just that I am not happy (as in the absence of happiness, but not necessarily the presence of sadness).

I'm bored. I've been bored for a while, maybe even a little lonely, and I've found myself lashing out for things in admittedly unhealthy ways looking for something to fill that void. The fact that I've got no real substantial or consistent piece of joy in my life is leaving me in a bit of a funk. I've got no real motivation to work toward (yes med school, is motivation but it's hard to see the light at the end of this extremely long tunnel) and the fact that sitting and studying is currently my only real option to occupy my time is making it really hard to focus when I sit down and try to tackle said studying.

Basically, I am as the French say, blasé, or what some may call apathetic and bottom line, this is not something that I want to be.

So what now?

Well... I think it's time I reinvest in some of my friendships. Some of current funk may or may not be attributed to the fact that I recently called it off with the guy I was dating and I consequently have a lot more time on my hands with nothing -but studying, ugh- to fill it.

Yesterday's post was more or less a pre-emptive move to commit to trying to find positive ways to fill said time/void vs falling into some of my escapist traps of the past. It was also spurred by some recent reflections I've had regarding the way I perceive problems and my tendency to blame myself for issues that come up (a topic I will explore in a later post).

...And so... What's this girl going to do?

I'm not really sure, but a few of my ideas:
-Get more involved in school activities, clubs, intramurals, etc
-Take a class... I'm thinking either gymnastics or aerials
-Schedule time to go out... Instead of convincing myself that I need to stay in and study and then not really accomplishing much, sigh.
-I ended my online dating account (too many desperates), but I would like to find a guy. You know, nothing major, just someone to smirk about, to tell my friends about, and to look forward to seeing now and again.
-Explore my love of baking... my classmates are looking a little hard up for cupcakes, it's about time I indulge them.

And yeah... that's all I've really got.
They say variety is the spice of life? Well somebody get this girl some freakin' paprika and quick!