Magnamity

Thinking... thinking... thoughts.

This week we covered the kidney. Needless to say, renal physiology is not my strong point. A few extra-curricular events led for a busy week that didn't allot much time for studying and also contributed to chronic ADD moments during class.

*ok fine I spent 3 of the 4 hours in class on Wednesday looking at clothes on line and then left 1/2 an hour early*
...Don't judge me...

Anyway, it's approaching midnight on Thursday and I don't have a handle on this week's material. As Monday marks my next exam, I'm starting to feel the fear. The fear that will try and keep me in and studying this weekend preventing me from having the bit of weekly fun that keeps me sane. The fear that makes me feel inept amongst my renal whiz classmates and colleagues... The Fear.

Unfortunately this fear is not an unfamiliar feeling. In fact, I existed in a state of fear for most of last year waiting to hear back from med schools- a fear of failure, a fear that I wouldn't be accepted anywhere and then what would I have done?

*This fear may or may not have led to mild instances of angst, excessive partying and a few regrettable moments with boys (cliche, I know)*
Again... Don't judge me.

But back to the point... That point being that fear... sucks. It leads to self-doubt, questioning one's capabilities, unnecessary stress, and occasionally (not to be mentioned here) social faux pas... so why do it?

Why be afraid?

Aristotle described fear as a vice and as I've described it above, is it not? Aristotle also philosophized on the balances that exist between virtues and vices. Specifically, the virtue he proposed to oppose the vice of fear he called magnanimity. In this context magnanimity is the balance between overconfidence and underconfidence (what I'm going to consider here as a fear of failure). It is a balance between over and underestimating one's capabilities. Basically it's knowing what you're worth, how good you are, and owning it.

So...

In honor of my recent philosophy kick and as a tribute to my ancient Grecian comrade, I've decided to give magnanimity a try. Instead of freaking out because I don't yet have a handle on the compensatory mechanisms of metabolic alkalosis, I'm going to own up to the fact that I'm smart, that I got into medical school for a reason, and that I'll have time to figure renal physiology out this weekend... After going out and having some fun that is.

If you're thinking I'm just trying to find a way to justify play time over study time... you might be right, but in reality I really do buy into the magnanimity thing.

That's right. Magnanimity.
**Instead of worrying this week I'll just be working it.**

Maybe you should give it a try too.