"The thing about chicks is you only have to be a fraction as nice to them as you are mean to them to get them to like you again..."
-Puck, from Fox's hit TV show Glee
This sentiment might make you giggle, but let's face it... for 99% of girls it's 100% true.
So why is it that if a girl disrespects a dude, it's adios, but a guy eliciting the same behavior toward a girl gets chance after chance? Could it perhaps be related to the same mentality that makes it ok for a guy to string along multiple girls earning him a pat on the back and the honorary title of 'player,' while a girl doing the same thing gets branded with the scarlet letter 'S'... for slut?
...To be honest...
who cares?
The point is - Why do girls do this?
It's annoying, unbecoming, shows a lack of self-respect, and for one thing, is one of the reasons why I sometimes prefer to hang out with boys.
This sentiment might make you giggle, but let's face it... for 99% of girls it's 100% true.
So why is it that if a girl disrespects a dude, it's adios, but a guy eliciting the same behavior toward a girl gets chance after chance? Could it perhaps be related to the same mentality that makes it ok for a guy to string along multiple girls earning him a pat on the back and the honorary title of 'player,' while a girl doing the same thing gets branded with the scarlet letter 'S'... for slut?
...To be honest...
who cares?
The point is - Why do girls do this?
It's annoying, unbecoming, shows a lack of self-respect, and for one thing, is one of the reasons why I sometimes prefer to hang out with boys.
Case in point:
My old roommate. Sweet girl, but completely naive. I became avoidant of her when I came home for fear of bombardment with boy-related details from her recent flings. I squirmed as she launched her theories on waiting to sleep with a guy till she knows he respects her (hmm a week 1/2?) and her reasoning that it's ok to text naked pictures of yourself to him until then (Ya, because those will never come back to haunt you). I held my tongue and feigned interest as she told me she was falling for the guy she'd known for 2 weeks and as she justified coming to his house at the drop of a hat at 3 a.m., because 'his schedule was just so busy...'
Bottom line... Ladies, you need to knock it off.
If you want to get with a guy, do it. Just don't expect him to respect you if you haven't given him the time to develop that respect.
Don't spend every waking second talking about dudes, especially the self-imposed heartache that they cause you. Get a hobby and a life, quit boring your friends with the details and wisen up to his mistreatment while you're at it. You're friends will thank you for it.
Quit blaming other girls for your guy's bad behavior and take it for what it is, a sign of disinterest. As my girl Tina Fey says: "You need to quit calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it ok for guys to call you sluts and whores."
Mean Girls (2004)
...So...
The moral of the story isn't boys > girls, but I do think that something can be said for acting more like a dude.
I won't pretend that I haven't been guilty of any of the aforementioned behaviors, but I will say that life is a lot easier when you don't let yourself fall into their traps.
...So, I'm offering...
My guide to avoiding the pitfalls of needy girl mentality:
1) Quit playing the victim.
When a guy breaks your heart take it for what it is: either a) he was a douche, b) you didn't carry yourself in a way that merited the treatment you deserve, or maybe just maybe c) you were the one being an ass.
2) Don't set yourself up to be used.
Unfortunately the old adage- 'He won't buy the cow if he gets the milk for free' sometimes rings true. Even if you don't want to be 'bought' per se, it's important to know your own boundaries and make them clear in any new relationship.
3) Just do you.
Let things unfold naturally. If commitment isn't what your looking for, then have a good time, but own up for it. Don't psychoanalyze his or your own behavior. Trust me, the guy isn't boring his friends with the details of how he 'totally lingered in the hallway clearly hoping you'd come talk to him' and you shouldn't be either.
...And finally...
While I realize that some of the above ascertations might have come off a bit harsh, I want to reemphasize the importance of recognizing what you deserve and not accepting anything less. If a guy breaks your heart take the appropriate time to recover...
**General rule of thumb from fave movie Out Cold (2001)= 1 week for every month you were together**
(That's right, you're 2 week fling earns you 3 days of mourning)
...but also make sure you learn from the situation. Don't waste your time pining. Go out and have fun, because trust me, Mr. right is out there somewhere and Mr. Wrong was over it from the second you called it quits.
If you want to get with a guy, do it. Just don't expect him to respect you if you haven't given him the time to develop that respect.
Don't spend every waking second talking about dudes, especially the self-imposed heartache that they cause you. Get a hobby and a life, quit boring your friends with the details and wisen up to his mistreatment while you're at it. You're friends will thank you for it.
Quit blaming other girls for your guy's bad behavior and take it for what it is, a sign of disinterest. As my girl Tina Fey says: "You need to quit calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it ok for guys to call you sluts and whores."
Mean Girls (2004)...So...
The moral of the story isn't boys > girls, but I do think that something can be said for acting more like a dude.
I won't pretend that I haven't been guilty of any of the aforementioned behaviors, but I will say that life is a lot easier when you don't let yourself fall into their traps.
...So, I'm offering...
My guide to avoiding the pitfalls of needy girl mentality:
1) Quit playing the victim.
When a guy breaks your heart take it for what it is: either a) he was a douche, b) you didn't carry yourself in a way that merited the treatment you deserve, or maybe just maybe c) you were the one being an ass.
2) Don't set yourself up to be used.
Unfortunately the old adage- 'He won't buy the cow if he gets the milk for free' sometimes rings true. Even if you don't want to be 'bought' per se, it's important to know your own boundaries and make them clear in any new relationship.
3) Just do you.
Let things unfold naturally. If commitment isn't what your looking for, then have a good time, but own up for it. Don't psychoanalyze his or your own behavior. Trust me, the guy isn't boring his friends with the details of how he 'totally lingered in the hallway clearly hoping you'd come talk to him' and you shouldn't be either.
...And finally...
While I realize that some of the above ascertations might have come off a bit harsh, I want to reemphasize the importance of recognizing what you deserve and not accepting anything less. If a guy breaks your heart take the appropriate time to recover...
**General rule of thumb from fave movie Out Cold (2001)= 1 week for every month you were together**
(That's right, you're 2 week fling earns you 3 days of mourning)...but also make sure you learn from the situation. Don't waste your time pining. Go out and have fun, because trust me, Mr. right is out there somewhere and Mr. Wrong was over it from the second you called it quits.
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